So I am probably the worst blogger ever. Oh well. :) Sorry to let down those who have actually come and read my blog. I love reading other people's blogs but it's just so hard for me to commit to it. So another couple of months have past. No pregnancy. I'm not depressed about it. In fact sometimes I feel very special that God has chosen me to go through this when most people don't. It's for a real purpose, and even though I don't know what it is, I'm encouraged because God thinks that I can handle this trial! He has confidence that I can go through this. Otherwise He wouldn't have brought me through it. So, yes, this road SUCKS HARDCORE, but I do have encouragement in it. I also have really crappy moments. In general, the feeling I get is a lot more sour than it used to be. But in my defense, I have stayed I think very upbeat in general about this whole thing. I mean, I have faced this infertility and two miscarriages for over four years now. That's a feat in itself! I do want to stay upbeat, but it is harder than it used to be and I am more sad about it than I ever used to be ever since our last miscarriage early last year.
Jay is feeling quite confident that I will get pregnant not this month but the next. So we'll see if that is true. :) You never know. God told Him last time that I would become pregnant. Maybe He's giving Jay and inkling this time. Oh I hope so! But if not, I'll just keep waiting...
What an amazing attitude you still have!! When it took us a year to get pregnant before Jedidiah (then miscarry), I got so frustrated. Yes, I see the hand of God in it. Especially now on hindsight. But it's hard to wait, not knowing when or if it will happen again. God is definitely working in you, building up patience. I'm sure you're a huge encouragement to others walking this road of infertility.
ReplyDeleteI hope Jay is right! I hope pregnancy is just around the corner for you. And I hope it's a full-term pregnancy. You'll be a good Mom. :)