I don't really have much to say... In fact I can't think of anything to say except that I'm bloated. Haha. Work was good today. I got out sooner than 8! Yay! (I was closing and things went faster so yipee!) Hmm... Definitely in the tww period. I'm already counting the days till I can find out if I'm pregnant. (why do I toture myself so?) My suitcase that I left at my brothers the other weekend came on the bus today, I'll pick it up tomorrow I think. Today I got home and didn't want to go anywhere. Even if it meant me getting to blowdry my hair for the first time in over a week haha!
So A and M let the cat out of the bag and told everyone they are expecting baby number 1! How exciting for them to have such a blessing!! I'm hoping to be able to join in the adventure with her shortly. Like in 12 days or less. I say that because I'm due next friday for af and that is in 10days but I might be a day off, plus I as of now still might wait until the day after I'm due, so that would put my possible testing date on sunday the 10th.
Hubby is pulling in some overtime this month. They have a projected quota they need to meet by the 16th to ensure that they get the big annual bonus. If they don't meet it we'll get about half as much. And it's a NICE piece of change, so my husband is stepping up and putting in the extra time to see that happen. (now that he's a team lead he's probably even more motivated to work extra hard!)
Alrighty, that's it for tonight. Merry Christmas! Oh! Buy Justin Bieber's Christmas cd, cause it's great!!

Grey Cup Day!

Well, I actually don't really have much care for the game. There is no party to go to because we don't know lots of people out here, let alone Bomber Fans. My family is surely having a hay-day out in manitoba however. Actually they are probably freaking out a little because it's the end of the first half and we're losing to BC 14-3. Anyways, enough about football haha.
Today we went to our church for the first time in about 6 weeks. It was nice to be back there again. Actually, we had intentions of finding a new church, but today in church I just was thinking that I didn't really want to move churches (in spite of the lack of hospitality shown from the congregation). J told me during church that he didn't feel good about leaving the church, and I told him that I wanted to stay too. So looks like we are staying there for now. Makes me glad actually. I'd like to get involved in the hospitality ministry there, and stay involved in the music ministry. Possibly something else as well. I have to get together with S from church to talk about ministry opportunity.
So yesterday I had tonnes of EWCM! So I guess I finally ovulated as today it was definitely drying up. So 1dpo for me today I'm counting for myself. I wasn't temping, but according to Taking Charge of Your Fertility I should consider my Peak Day as O day. (the day with the wettest sensation). So that would put my due date at around August 20th. Sure, why not! Today we had some friends over after church, from the Bible School we went to. That was a good time of fellowship for lack of a better word. K prayed for us about our infertility issue. That was really appreciated. His wife M mentioned that maybe God was waiting until we could financially support a family to bless us with a baby, and I was just wondering about that yesterday. Anyways, I'm really really hoping my period doesn't show this time and I'm pregnant. I was daydreaming today about telling my extended family at Christmas time about our pregnancy, with the idea that we would have had an ultrasound by then, showing a healthy hearty baby in my womb.
Those are some of my thoughts today. :)

O Nature-al

So this cycle I'm trying to do things the natural way. Well, for the most part. I am still taking b6 to keep my luteal phase at least 12 days long. I also temped this morning and yesterday morning to see if I ovulated. I haven't yet. But I don't plan on temping the next several days a least. I don't want to know the exact day that I ovulate this time to hopefully make my two week wait a little easier on me because I won't know which day I'm on. I'm going by cm (cervical mucous) to try to determine ovulation and bding (baby dancing, aka sex).
So this last weekend was alumni weekend at the Bible College my hubs and I went too. It was a good time. But not like other years when there were more people from our years to visit. That was disappointing for sure, but all my siblings were out so that was good. Too bad babies make it hard to visit with my sis-in-laws though because of nap-times and bedtimes. I decided I think on friday that I was going to fast on sunday. Boy I suck at not eating haha. I made it over 22 hours. I didn't get in as much time praying as I wanted too, (busy still on sunday) but I'm still glad I did it. I was fasting because I want to get pregnant, and I was praying also for a friend of mine who is facing infertility as well.
So, today I am on cycle day 17. Last cycle I o'd (ovulated) on cd (cycle day) 15. But this cycle I didn't take vitex, which I'm regretting now because I still am waiting to O. So next cycle (unless I'm pregnant!!!) I plan on starting that up again. I'm finally gearing up to O, I think, because I'm finally getting some fertile cm. Yay! So probably in the next few days I'll O.
Oh! I didn't tell you guys that my hubsy got a promotion within his work! He's a team leader now! His pay goes up substantially on Dec. 1st! Super exciting that's for sure! Maybe now God will bless us with a baby because we'll be able to afford it so much easier. (always got to think of the positive right?)
Hmm... I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet really (just two items). We haven't had any money to do that yet. But we only need to have three Christmas gifts bought before my mid december paycheck. Good thing!
Well, that's all for now, have a great night wherever you are!

Long Weekend

It was the long weekend for Remembrance Day. Well, it was long for me, but not for J. He decided that he would take up the triple time offer to work on friday. So of course he did that! Yay for us! And then he decided to work saturday too for double time. (9 hours both days!) Yah that will be nice on his end of the month paycheck. In case anybody is wondering, J works at a company that puts together this big sleds with huge transformers in them. Basically producing custom mining products for the potash mines here in Saskatchewan. He LOVES his job. I'm so glad that he does!
So I am on cycle day 7 today. Still another 8 days or so until I ovulate again. Which reminds me that today I have to go and buy some more b6 (for my too short luteal phase) and maybe some vitex again to help me ovulate sooner than days 18-21 like I had been.
This will be cycle #38 of trying over a four year span. (some months we couldn't try ie: pregnancy, or waiting after miscarriage, or going for surgery for my gums etc)
I'm 26 right now. If I get pregnant now I'll have my first baby when I'm 27. I hope to have all my biological babies by the time I'm 31 or so. So I want to have them fast!! One after the other pretty much, so I don't have to have a small child in my forties. That's my plan, but may not be God's plan for us, but I just really hope so at this point, but if not, there will be a good reason, and I'll be thankful.
J is busy playing this new game he got for his birthday (it's not for another 5 weeks) but his mom bought him Rocksmith. It's really awesome because you can hook up your real electric guitar into the playstation and actually learn to play it for real!! He doesn't have an amp so he plays it this way, through his stereo actually and the ps3. It's cool. He should get really good really fast. He's so quick! I'm excited for him because he has such talent and promise. He just needs to take the time to practice.
J's parents were out over the weekend. They stayed with S, C and M and did Christmas shopping. Lots of eating out when they're out. We went to Tony Roma's, Chili's, and Grainfields. :) Oh and we ordered in pizza as well one night.
My niece (I have three of them) who is 2 is so fun! I just love her. Got to hang out with the cutie every day this weekend. She does the funniest things. And she loves me so much. I love it when she says "auntie" to me. For some reason she really likes me and is affectionate and goes to me lots, but with J she is so stingy. I'm not sure why. Maybe just cause he's a guy. Cause she kinda like that with "papa" and with Uncle M. Such a special girl! I think I'll buy her a dvd and a book or something like that for Christmas. We'll see though, I like to look around though and just find whatever I like, rather than plan it out too much. I like to keep my options open.
Well a new week is about to start. But next weekend is Alumni Weekend!! Yahoo! Soccer tourney and hanging out with friends! Seeing my Brothers and sisters-in-law and other two nieces should be good times! And of course hopefully B and R (our Bible College roomates who ended up marrying each other). R got two deer this weekend hunting so that means they'll likely make it for the weekend!

My New Job

Well my husband J is in bed sleeping. (At least I'm assuming he's sleeping as he's the type who falls asleep pretty much as soon as his head hits the pillow) I have some time before I want to go to bed. After all, I only got back from work at 10 to 8 this evening. I want to enjoy some home time before I sleep, wake up and have to go back to work all over again. That being said, I HAVE A JOB! I was out of a job for about 2 1/2 weeks after deciding that CURVES (the women's fitness club) wasn't working out for me. The hours were too early, and I wasn't bringing in enough money for J and I. And now, I have a new job as a receptionist! It's at a busy chiropractic/massage clinic. A good friend of mine (RS) works there and told my new boss about me, that I was looking for a job. They had just let go the third receptionist in the last 6 months or so and were looking for another one. I emailed my resume and about 20 minutes later she called and I had an interview. But this interview was a bit unusual. I actually worked 2 four hour shifts to see if it was something I would be interested in, and also for her to see if she wanted to hire me. Well, I must have done alright because she hired me. Very nice lady. In fact everyone seems very nice. But I have to admit. I've been nervous about the fact that they have fired 3 people in such a short time frame. But I've been trying to look at it this way: God brought me to this job. If they fire me, God has somewhere else for me, and I didn't get fired for not doing a good job (at least as well as I can anyway) so I can't take it personally, and I know God would provide for us financially through a different job, or whatever He would choose. So therefore I can relax knowing that my future is in very capable hands. Oh! My boss is a doula! How cool is that?! I thinks it's awesome! She's been doula-ing for 8 years now. :) I'll have to ask her more about it. (I have kicked around the idea of becoming a doula as well)
Oh here is the update on my cycle. (This blog will most likely get quite detailed, so if you don't want to know about the inner workings of my body and reproductive cycle, you'd better bail out now!) I'm on cd (cycle day) 2. My af (period/Aunt Flo) started yesterday the 7th. So not much to report for a while. It get's more interesting after I O and I could possibly be pregnant! I always hope remember? Anywho, have a good night all!

Am I A Blogger?

I want to be. But like lots of my ideas, I have a hard time with follow-through. But I think it will be great to write out my thoughts and feelings about our trying to conceive journey/infertility journey. My last post was years ago. We still do not have a baby to hold in our arms. This cycle I just started is our 37th trying cycle. '37' is my husband and I's number. I'm hoping that this month will be the month for us. But of course I am always hopeful. Sometimes I wonder why I bother but honestly I just can't seem to not get hopeful every single new cycle. I just want to be pregnant so bad! So in the time gap from last blog to this one, we actually conceived twice. Once in April of 2010, (we miscarried at 5 weeks and 2 days) and once at the end of march of this year. We actually lost the baby almost immediately the second time as it was a blighted ovum. The baby must not have been developing properly and my body absorbed the pregnancy. We found out at 7 weeks and 2 days I believe. I carried the sac till 12 weeks until I finally took the misoprostol to start the miscarriage. It was so different from the first one. I started labouring mildly (think bad period cramps) and I passed the sac. There was lots of blood. I went to emergency because I was concerned at how much blood I was actually losing. (think a pad every 15 minutes)
Each cycle we got pregnant God either strongly hinted/told someone we were going to get pregnant or were pregnant. God is the maker and giver of life. It's up to Him to allow me to get pregnant, and it was His choice to take our babies home. One day I truely believe we'll be holding our children in our arms and we'll be able to look back on this journey and perhaps see more clearly God's purpose in our wait for our family.
Well that's all folks for tonight. I plan on writing again soon. Perhaps once or twice a week I hope!! Until next time...