So Tired...

I'm in a bad habit of staying up too late. But anyways, it's O time for me, well, I'm not actually sure when I ovulated. Possible today, but I think as early as Friday. It's Monday today. Hmm... I've had a cold the last few days, and this morning I woke up really early to see some friends off that were moving away and I was dizzy. Like things were kinda tipsy. It was weird. But it could just be the cold that was messing with my balance. Strange. Anywho, that's where I'm at with symptoms so far. It's really too early for that but I couldn't dismiss that offbalance feeling. Yah, k that's it for now, I'm too tired to write any more for now.

Sigh

You know, I really want to be pregnant. Plus, it's just so hard waiting every month to see if we've finally conceived you know? I get so impatient and have obsessive tendencies to poas and to research stuff on the internet. Symptoms and message boards and anything really related to trying to conceive. It's tiring. You know, I don't think I really want to find out from doctors if they think I can conceive, cause if they say there really isn't a chance that will bring me down. I know my faith in God should be strong enough to trust that He can make the impossible happen, but it's just easier thinking that it's probably still medically possible. But I realize as I write that that it is sinful for me to feel that way, because it is a lack of trust in Jesus who was raised from the dead, lack of trust in God who parted the waters and the Israelites walked across on dry ground! You know, I actually know a Christian couple who very recently that were told that they couldn't have children and guess what? The very next month they conceived and I think she's due in about 2 months or so. That's amazing, and shows the power of God! Today I was just thinking more about being pregnant and wanting it and I found out my cousin is pregnant. I just get sad when I hear about people getting pregnant now. I mean, I am really excited about babies coming into the world, but it reminds me that I haven't conceived and we've been trying so hard! But, God knows what's best for me and hubby. I just need to rely on Him to be everything that I need, because He really does have that!
Oh, that fertilaid thing, I might buy it next month for me and JJ if we aren't pregnant by then. We are just getting out of school and that stuff is expensive. Hopefully we can afford it soon cause I'd like to give it a try.
Alrighty, talk to y'all later!

Yay for Spring Time and Grad!

I'm so glad that we are almost finished the school year. DH is in Bible school working on his 4th year program. We'll be back next year so he can finish it, but for now, I'm just excited to move back home to where my family lives for the summer. Only about 2 and a half weeks. Of course that means packing and stuff, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Plus we're leaving most of our stuff here anyways for the summer.
Well, I have to wait another 13 or so days until I O again, since last month was a 17 day cycle. Although last month I was very involved in soccer and I think that is why my O day was later than normal, so I might actually O sooner than that, horray! I don't usually think too much about ttc when it's before my O day, but I'm still thinking about that Fertilaid and I forgot to check out more about it. I think I shall go and do that now and decide soon. It'd be nice to start taking them as soon as possible. It's probably too late for them to help for this cycle but maybe the next.

Turns Out I was Wrong

Well, just a quick post to say that it wasn't 12 dpo yesterday. I was 14 dpo, cause today Af came. I calculated my date due to when I started noticing my bb tenderness and my other typical Af symptoms but I guess those were different. But, it kinda makes sense cause I had spotting on the day that I O'd. I can see that in retrospect. I had spotting a different month though and it seemed that I O'd earlier than that date that month so who really knows. Frustrating. You think you know when these things are going to happen and then it changes on you! Well, that's where I'm at. So that makes us onto the 16th month of trying. Wow, I can't believe it's been that long. Almost a year and a half. You'd think that we would be more worried than what we are. I think that's God's grace to us. He knows how much we really want a child, but we are really just trusting in his timing. It makes all the difference to me and my husband. I really am not sure when we are going to go and get things checked out by a doctor. I really don't want to do that yet but I think sooner or later we'll go and get things started. I hate going to doctors so I really don't want to go. Maybe we'll start with DH first and get the sperm count and all that stuff checked out. It seems less invasive than all the things females go through. (Although I'm sure DH won't exactly be delighted to donate to the cause lol) So, I'm thinking about starting with Fertilaid pills that you can get on earlypregnancytests.com. It's supposed to help prime your body for conception and help regulate you hormones and such or something like that. I think I'll do a little more research on that and then maybe order some and see if it helps. Alrighty, it's late, waiting for my DH to come home, should be back soon! Alrighty, g'night.

12 dpo... I think.

This is one of those months that I totally miscalculated when I was going to ovulate and ended up ovulating like 5 days later I think. My last cycle was 28 days but now it is probably going to end up being around 33 days. Possibly 34. Today is Friday April 3rd and I actually think I still have to wait until Monday. Ugh. I hate this waiting. I get so impatient. All I do is sit on the internet and look up stuff about ttc and symtoms and stuff. Although, I have found that after nearly 15 complete months of ttc I don't worry about every little symptom I experience anymore. I am a lot more self controlled. I have also gotten to know my body a lot better as a result of ttc, so I know what is PMS related. Although that doesn't always stop me from wishful thinking though which still can end up driving me nearly crazy most months! For me, I get so many PMS symptoms that can be the same as pregnancy, I wonder if there will be a difference when I actually get pregnant. Maybe one month I'll have no symptoms and end up pregnant. These are my PMS symptoms... bloating, fatigue, gas, peeing more frequently, tender swollen breasts, sore lower back, extreme hunger, and mood changes. Yah. Isn't that lovely??!! How will I ever know if I'm pregnant? Anybody else in the same boat?
So, anyways, yah, I'm on 12 dpo probably, and I badly wish I had some HPT's at home right now. I'm waiting for my internet cheapie order I placed on Monday but I think I have to wait until Wednesday, 5 days from now to get them. I had some internet OPKs at home that I had to use as HPTs the last couple of days but now I'm out of them too. (yah, I don't know how reliable they are in predicting pregnancy but I had to try!) We're in school right now and we can't afford to buy one at the store this month, so I won't cave and go get one. Although, I might chicken out, I still hate going and buying HPTs. I'm 23, almost 24, but I still look like a teenager so I hate how it looks and it makes me feel awkward. I like using self-checkouts, but they don't have them in the small town we live by right now.
"Symptoms" I've been having have been...
I've been bloated off and on (normal)
Had some pinching yesterday in left ovary area and a bit in right ovary (semi-normal)
I have sore bb's, and kinda tender nips (normal)
I've had my extreme hunger pangs (normal)
I think today I've been experiencing my mood changes (normal)
Yesterday I think I had a hot flash (normal)
So far fatigue hasn't really hit yet. That's kinda weird maybe.
Yah, anyways, those "symptoms" are most likely my normal PMS, which makes me sad. We want a baby so badly you know? Ok, well, pray for us that this is the month! God bless!

It All Started When...

Hi! Well, this is my very first blog. Yay! Well, I have done so much research on the internet about the topic that I will probably mainly talk about in my blogs. TRYING TO CONCEIVE. Me and my DH (Dear Husband) have been trying to get pregnant almost as soon as we got married, just over a year and a half ago. We were 22 (me) and him (20) Now we are 23 and 22. I know, that's seems young to a lot of you, but we knew what we wanted and decided to go for it. Unfortunately, things weren't as easy as we were hoping. Now, after 14 months (in my 2ww of the 15 month) we have yet to have any kind of pregnancy nibble. Now, we are believers in God and truly trust in His perfect timing. That doesn't mean we aren't dissapointed when we get to the end of that dreaded 2ww and find Aunt flow (AF), but does give us hope in knowing that God knows best for our lives, and also, that God can work a miracle in our life at any point and allow us to finally get pregnant. So yah, we have waited a long time, but I know that there are many women out there that have waited years to get pregnant, or are still waiting. But I am glad to be able to share finally out loud (sort of anyways) how this process is making me feel and all the things that come with it. Feel free to leave comments, I'd love to hear feedback for you all, and also you can feel free to share some of your own experiences/thoughts/feelings, so we can all benefit and find some encouragement in all of this. Ok, I'm going to start a new post with a different heading starting where I am at right now...