Sigh

You know, I really want to be pregnant. Plus, it's just so hard waiting every month to see if we've finally conceived you know? I get so impatient and have obsessive tendencies to poas and to research stuff on the internet. Symptoms and message boards and anything really related to trying to conceive. It's tiring. You know, I don't think I really want to find out from doctors if they think I can conceive, cause if they say there really isn't a chance that will bring me down. I know my faith in God should be strong enough to trust that He can make the impossible happen, but it's just easier thinking that it's probably still medically possible. But I realize as I write that that it is sinful for me to feel that way, because it is a lack of trust in Jesus who was raised from the dead, lack of trust in God who parted the waters and the Israelites walked across on dry ground! You know, I actually know a Christian couple who very recently that were told that they couldn't have children and guess what? The very next month they conceived and I think she's due in about 2 months or so. That's amazing, and shows the power of God! Today I was just thinking more about being pregnant and wanting it and I found out my cousin is pregnant. I just get sad when I hear about people getting pregnant now. I mean, I am really excited about babies coming into the world, but it reminds me that I haven't conceived and we've been trying so hard! But, God knows what's best for me and hubby. I just need to rely on Him to be everything that I need, because He really does have that!
Oh, that fertilaid thing, I might buy it next month for me and JJ if we aren't pregnant by then. We are just getting out of school and that stuff is expensive. Hopefully we can afford it soon cause I'd like to give it a try.
Alrighty, talk to y'all later!